Ho Ho HOLY COW! Already???

September, and Christmas is in the air!

Since it already feels like November here on the tundra of north Idaho, I hauled my carcass to Lowes for some varnish and cleaning materials intended for my wintertime amusement in the garage.  You see, every year I make big plans to keep busy on projects there is no time for when the sun shines and the waters of Lake Coeur D' Alene beckon.  No matter that I never get to said chores like varnishing the Adirondack chairs, replacing dead outdoor light bulbs, and other general repair items.  The fact that I have good intentions is all that really matters.  Maybe I'll get to them in the Spring?  Nah, time to put the boat in the water.  I'm no good at all that fixing stuff anyway.  My projects always depend on duct tape and hope.

So, there I am at Lowes on the 25th of September when I notice the hard to miss artificial Christmas trees, lights and indoor and outdoor decorations on prominent display in an area encompassing approximately one-quarter of the front of the store.  What the ???  When did this happen?  I remember as a kid my mother getting incensed when she spotted Christmas items in department stores right around Thanksgiving time.  "That's just not right," she would opine.  "We're giving short shrift to one of our true American holidays."  She was correct, of course, and I can recall thinking how angry she would have been when,  just a few years ago, Christmas displays began to pop up in retail outlets right next to the Halloween candy and costumes during early October.  Now, September??

How are you fixed for tree balls?

Naturally, Lowes is not alone in this new mercantile tradition of making Christmas a four-month retail orgy.  Home Depot is right there with them and Costco has had their Yuletide loot in the aisles for a couple of weeks now.  It's all about ringing the register.  Do those even ring anymore?  I think not.  There's another lost tradition that needs looking into. Somebody get on that right now and report back to me.

I'm not certain how much of the Christmas inventory moves off the shelves in September and October, but somebody must think it's good marketing to get it out there.  My strong suspicion is that the whole idea of Christmas in September is to jump start all the angst and guilt most of us feel when it comes to holiday shopping.  Eight or nine trips to Home Depot or Lowes will have a plethora of guys sweating what might happen if they fail to get their main squeeze that new rototiller for Christmas.  That's what she wanted, isn't it?  Or, was it the battery charger?  These situations are hard for those of us with the Y chromosome.   She'll understand, won't she? Good thing we have plenty of time.

"Only 100 shopping days 'til Christmas, buy now or I'll sit on you."