Build The WALL!

No, not that wall.
 It's our northern border that's in need of plugging!
For years now we United States citizens have been forced to deal with our weirdo Canadian neighbors and frankly, it's time to get serious about the insidious invasion taking place at our sieve-like border.  I speak, of course, about the hideous and very unsanitary occupation of these United States by those web-footed crap machines the ubiquitous CANADIAN GEESE.

"Anything to declare?"

Am I right America??  Of course, I am!  Just as crows have fled rural America for the tasty and more readily available garbage of our urban enclaves, Canadian geese have decamped from the land of magical moose, talking beavers, and the always dependably delicious poutine to the home of Mickey Mouse, Ru Paul, and Krispy Kreme.  From Maine to Florida; Seattle to San Diego, they're everywhere EXCEPT Canada and the Canucks need to take them back!

Magic moose

Isn't it bad enough that we Americans must put up with those humor impaired mounties at the border who are always ready to foolishly ask us if we "have anything to declare" as we return home from a visit to sled dog driver land? (Apparently, "War" is not the preferred response.)

The goslings are automatically U.S. citizens.

Honking, hissing and pooping, it never ends!

Now, we are now expected to welcome these freeloading Canadian geese to our beautiful country where they devour our lawns, have multiple babies and poop every 16 minutes. (Look it up!)  It's an outrage and it must stop now!

Building a border wall is the only logical solution to this growing menace.  I've tried reasoning with these alien birdbrains who have planted themselves in my neighborhood and all I receive in response are clueless stares, hissing, and irritating and incessant honking sounding much like a Basset hound on the receiving end of an enema.


No, the largely empty country to our north must take these pests back!  They are CANADIAN geese after all and we are the sovereign United States of America.  No more mooching, munching waterfowl are required or needed.  Donald, Daisy, Hewey, Dewey, and Louie are quite enough for us, thank you very much.  (Sorry, Daffy, I didn't mean to forget you.)

I say build the wall, build it tall and build it now!

What?
Really?
They can fly?
How long have we known this??

Uh...never mind. Perhaps I need to re-think this plan.
If you need me, I'll be in the den watching a Nelson Eddy and Jeannette MacDonald movie.

See if the geese want some popcorn.