Studies: The Good, the Bad and the Cuddly

This is a re-post from May 13, 2011


Good news for teenage boys!
Just in time for Springtime courtin' and sparkin' comes a brand new research report from Alvarado Hospital in San Diego.  Apparently, (drum roll please), SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU!  Yep, according to Irwin Goldstein, a urologist and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, there is now evidence of benefits--beyond baby making--to whoopee.  "When you have good sex, there is a relaxation response...you lie there and life is great," says the good doctor who in addition to being the master of the understatement is also the director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital.  The research goes on to report that sex also increases oxytocin, known as the "cuddle hormone," which promotes bonding, reduces fear and stimulates endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, which is why sex can also bring temporary relief from back pain, migraines and other body aches. (Good to know!)

OH DOCTOR!!
Where was this guy when I was seventeen??!!  This is pure gold when it comes to hormonal salesmanship for young men everywhere.  "It's not only fun, darlin', it's also GOOD for you."

So much for the good studies.  Leave it to the killjoys at the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health to rain on the good time freak parade.  Those poindexters have recently concluded that if you own a convertible you should never drive it with the top down.  WHAT???  First of all, everyone should have a convertible and the top should always be DOWN!  I will allow a brief period of "top up" for those of you residing in states north of Kansas during the somewhat intimidating months of January through March but that's it.  How else can you look cool behind the wheel of your latest sled?  I have owned rag tops since 1966.  The first one was a dandy 1963 Ford Galaxie 500 XL that would occasionally start and frequently broke down, but damn I looked good driving it.  After all, it doesn't matter when you get there as long as you look good doing it.  I have owned many delightful convertibles since that time but often bask in the memories of youthful indiscretions supported by that ever faithful 500 XL.  (Cue the Johnny Mathis music...up and under.)

Now, where was I?  Oh yes, the nerds at the NIOSH have concluded a study (Hey! Knock it off with the studies!) which found noise levels in convertibles were above 85 decibels when the top was down and the car was traveling at 55 mph or faster.  At 75 mph the decibel level jumped to 89.9.  Researchers also noted that with the top down convertibles expose occupants to "noise spikes" from horns, motorcycle mufflers and truck engines.  To all of that I say, "HUH?" and "Who cares?"  If the noise bothers you turn up the radio and always keep the speedometer above 85.

Now grab your coat!  We're firing up the old love barge for a trip to the drive-in.  There are some ladies who really need to take a look at this very fine new study from Alvarado Hospital.

It seldom ran but there was ample room for cuddling.

Why I'm Not Watching Game of Thrones

Thank God our long national nightmare will soon be over.  Game of Thrones, the tedious "swords and sandals" bore fest  that has inflicted seven seasons of its insipidness on HBO viewers has now begun its eighth and final mind numbing season.  I'm fairly certain that hell will involve either being required to sit through a production--ANY production--of Cats or offering up Game of Thrones on every TV channel.  Of course, if there's an open bar...

To escape all the hype and faux Thrones excitement surrounding this cultural phenomenon I booked my annual trip to the land of red beans and pinball machines, New Orleans, for this past week.    New Orleans is not only my favorite destination for food and adult beverage it is also home to the national treasure that is the World War II Museum.  If you haven't yet been to what is now NOLA's number one tourist attraction ( and America's number 3)  you need to rectify that pronto.  The museum is the realized dream of historians Stephen Ambrose and Nick Mueller, both one time professors at the University of New Orleans, who, with the help of people like Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Gary Sinise and others have created a spectacular multi building campus to honor the sacrifice of America's fighting men and women who answered the call to save the world from the horror that was Hitler's Germany and the Empire of Japan.  World War II was by far the most devastating conflict the world has ever seen and with four-hundred thousand lost American lives among the seventy-three million who died world wide I for one am grateful that this enormous project was finished in time for many WW II vets to have visited beginning in 2000.  We're down to very few of them now and often when they make it to the museum it is with the help of care givers and a wheel chair. I saw only one on this week's trip.

My youngest daughter and her family joined me this year at the museum and we were lucky enough to get my 9 year-old grandson into the collections vault where many items are catalogued and authenticated.  Young Daniel got to hold a German Luger and a Japanese Samurai sword thanks to curator Larry Decuers.  He also got to see many planes, tanks, and the Higgins landing crafts that were so instrumental to the Normandy Invasion.  I know Dan is a long way from grasping the enormity of what his great grandfathers and grandmothers sacrificed to insure his freedom but when his school does get around to teaching the kids about the war perhaps this visit will have provided him a greater appreciation.  Certainly I learn many new facts about the war with each visit.  It takes about three days to see the multiple exhibits so, if you can visit, know that it is quite extensive but well worth the time invested.

Turn off the TV and make some New Orleans plans.  The museum website is: nationalww2museum.org

Come for the history; stay for the oysters! 

Dan had to glove up to handle weapons in the museum vault.

Just a couple of the planes in the aviation pavilion.

The kid shows real promise in the raw oyster department.

This building houses the Road to Tokyo, an extensive look at the war in the Pacific.

1940's style "canteen" shows run daily.  Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

Getting Domestic

Finding myself single these past couple of years it has become necessary to familiarize myself with cooking, cleaning and all those chores that were previously done by elves in my late wife's employ.  Over time it became apparent to me that simply buying new clothes when the old ones got dirty was a lousy business model, though a wardrobe consisting of jeans and t-shirts of questionable taste really isn't what anyone would call a budget buster.  All anyone needs to do when washing clothes is simply chuck them in the Maytag, throw in some soap and you're practically done.  Who knew?  The dryer is a snap too.  As for ironing, I've always been a fan of the rumpled look and have called off the search for the steam iron.

Cooking was easy.  There are places called restaurants where you can order doggone near anything you want, however grits, Virginia ham and red-eye gravy and mustard greens are a little tough to find this close to the Canadian border.  (Note to Canadians:  Your bacon is NOT bacon!  It's ham.  Don't make me have to tell you twice.)  The drawback to eating out all the time is that you are required to give people money for the privilege of doing so and that can add up.  Also, shelling out additional funds for a few pairs of fatboy pants becomes necessary after only a couple of weeks.  Eating at home, at least for me, was the "go to" plan once the bank turned me down for that line of credit I needed to continue on the restaurant chow plan.  For awhile my big ol' Weber gas grill was my best friend.  Steaks, hotdogs, hamburgers and anything else in the refrigerator was fair game for a backyard sacrifice. (Note: take stuff out of the package before placing on the grill.)  Problem solved!  And then came winter.

Sandwiches!  Why didn't I think of that before??  You can put anything between two slices of bread and you're as good to go as the Earl of Sandwich.  He was the dude who figured this marvelous food delivery system was ideal for taking nourishment while playing poker with other royal reprobates.  Pure genius!  If only he were alive I could share with him some of the very fine combos I've developed.  There's the peanut butter and dill pickle--my personal favorite--, mustard and pork rind,  ketchup and potato chip on rye, Spam and eggs, sardine,  mayo, blueberry and cheese and so many more culinary delights.  I continue to create new sandwich art almost everyday.  Foodies take note!

Here's one I call the Skettie Sandwich.  Recipe available on request.

The Skettie Sandwich can be enhanced with a large blob of beef gravy.

Good eatin'  from Mr. Copper's kitchen and there's always room for Jello.

YUM!